Conflict

I have noticed that in and around my life, dealing with conflict has been consuming more and more of my time and effort. I have noticed that most of the people I know have also been dealing with increased conflict in their lives as well. With more than 20 years of dealing with conflict in law enforcement and as an Emergency Room nurse, I would like to share just a couple of thoughts that have become staples in my philosophy with addressing conflict resolutions.

First, I want to speak on a spiritual level. When confronted with a situation of conflict or when we are about to knowingly enter into a tense situation; we need to be in prayer, stay in prayer, and finish in prayer. Paul wrote in Ephesians chapter 6; “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12) We have to understand and recognize that there is a spiritual battle that is going on around us. We need to engage in prayer so that we can call into play God our father, His son Jesus Christ, His Spirit and all the Angels in heaven to be involved in this spiritual battle; for we have no power or no authority in this realm. We need to turn it over to God and pray for His intervention.

Next, I want to speak to three items of importance when dealing with our flesh and conflict. First, we need to remove our emotions from the situation. We have to remember that when dealing with conflict, it is not personal. Most conflict is born of lack of information, misinformation, miscommunication, anxiety, stress, and/or fear. The confrontation or conflict then is a result of someone acting out in response to their emotions. I urge you; do not enter onto the battlefield of emotional conflict; no one wins. Both parties get angry and both parties get hurt; no one wins. I urge you to check your emotions at the door; that leaves you better equipped to discern the source of the conflict which moves you quicker towards a resolution.

Second, stay calm. When we are confronted, our natural fight or flight mechanisms begin to kick into gear. Our adrenalin begins to pump; our heart rate increase and we begin to breath faster; we develop tunnel vision as our brain transitions from cognitive mode to reflexive mode; this is all as our body prepares to enter into physical battle or the run to safety. I urge you; when you feel this begin to happen, physically make yourself calm down, slow and deepen your breathing. The writer of Psalms 46 reminds us that; “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalms 46:1, 10) Calm down, be still and know that it is in God’s hands. Engage your brain and do not react out of a reflexive response to the situation.

Third, be patient. In our excitement to address or fix a problem, we can become very impatient and excited; then we act in hast when it may not be needed. Sometimes, when exercising a little patience, a situation will resolve itself or God will reveal His solution to the situation. I have been in a study and focus on Paul’s second letter to Timothy. In the 4th chapter, Paul is advising Timothy; “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:2)

Conflict can be a very aggravating, stressful, a burden that becomes increasingly heavy; however, if approached with the right outlook and attitude; conflict can be handled with peace and ease. For those who work in the Law Enforcement or Security fields; even when physical confrontation is necessary to resolve a conflict; a calm controlled response is much more effective than a reflexive, emotional, chaotic response. Remember to pray, remove your emotions, stay calm, and be patient and you will find that you will more quickly identify the source of the conflict and move faster towards resolving the conflict before it becomes a burden.