ChickenOrTheEgg

I was engaged in a
conversation a short time ago where a woman was talking of her boyfriend’s
struggle to “get saved”. She had said he was waiting for it to feel right. He was
waiting for the Holy Spirit and then he would make his decision when the
feeling was right. Immediately, alarms started going off in my head. I wasn’t
quite sure why that just didn’t sound right.

This conversation led me
into several days of prayer and reflection over what had been said. The thought
that started me off was contemplating the foundation of relationships. Not just
our relationship with our Heavenly Father, but the relationships around us.
What about the foundation of relationships in marriage? What about the
relationships with our children or our parents?

The relationship we engage
in on a daily basis, could these be based on purely a feeling, on an emotion. I
began to ponder the emotional question. Do I have a relationship today with my
parents based on my feelings? The answer is no. I, like most children, have at
times in my life harbored anger and resentment towards my parents, even blaming
them for my “lot in life”. What about my children? It is certainly not my
feelings that have kept them around all this time. Heck, if based on feelings,
I would have killed them both years ago. What about my wife? Is my relationship
with her based on how we felt before we got married? (Give me a second to
compose myself after that one. I don’t want to say that I got a giggle out of
that, but I think I pulled a something.)

So is it purely about a
decision? Is it the other end of the spectrum? Do I love all these people
simply because I chose to, and now I’m stuck with them so I might as well love
them? Is it both? Is it an emotion or a decision; or a decision and
an emotion? And if it’s both; which one comes first? Is it a decision that
leads to an emotion or an emotion that leads to a decision? Is it the chicken
or the egg?

As you can tell, this has
been a very thoughtful week for me. And even though that I have suffered
through a few headaches this week, and just utter confusion; I believe that God
has revealed to me some of the answers to these questions. I hope that I can
successfully share with you what God has laid upon my heart.

First we have to identify
the players in this chess match. I have recently been reading and have written
on the condition of our heart. Let me tell you as simply as I can what I have
discovered about this precious organ. Our heart is a selfish, self-serving, schizophrenic,
bi-polar, angry, bitter, controlling, devious, deceiving, egomaniacal, misleading,
misguiding creature. (Feel free to read that again.) Our hearts, and the
desires of our hearts, are as easily swayed and more easily manipulated than a
crowd watching the commercials before a movie. Why do you think so much money
is spent today on and by advertisers? Because our hearts and our desires are so
easily manipulated!

Let me point out to you
what happens when me make decisions based on emotions. We buy a car that’s too
big, a house that’s too big and a spouse that’s too big! (Again, feel free to
take a moment.) If we enter into a relationship and make a decision to get
married based on an emotion; when that emotion changes, and it will, so will
our decision. Let me take that a step farther, to where this concept really
smacked me in the back of the head. If we make a decision to follow Christ
based purely on an emotion, when that emotion fades, and it will, we will
change our decision to follow Christ and fall away. Let me just stop there and
tell you that I was on my motorcycle on my way to work and nearly wrecked as I
broke into tears as that revelation hit me. There are so many times when my
feelings or my “heart” was hurt by a church, a pastor, or as I perceived by “God”;
and I would turn my back and walk away.

This is what I have now
come to believe. Our spouses and/or the Holy Spirit can prompt us, or get our
attention with an emotional feeling. However; I am coming to believe that it
must be a decision that has to guide our emotions. Let me explain; it must be a
decision to a lifelong commitment that is the foundation of a marriage. And out
of that a deeper, truer, more concrete emotional bond can be built. If not, it
is superficial and temporary.

The same is true with our
relationship with our Heavenly Father. It is only through a decision to commit
to an eternal relationship that lays the foundation for an emotional bond that
is deep, true, sincere, endless and unbreakable.

What if Noah felt stupid and didn’t build the arc. What
if Joseph felt abandoned and didn’t
stay faithful while in slavery in Egypt? What if Abraham felt betrayed and refused to sacrifice Isaac? What if Moses felt scared and didn’t go to Egypt to
free the Israelites? What if Jesus felt
selfish and said; “I’m not going through that for them”? What if the disciples felt…and decided not to follow Jesus? If
all of those mentioned made a decision based on a feeling; not only would
history be different, but imagine the impact those decisions would have had on
their relationship with their Heavenly Father? See what the impact has had in
making a decision for their Heavenly Father!

Where would we spend
eternity if we live in our feelings; if
we feel too unworthy, too frightened,
too doubtful, or too selfish to make the decision to accept Christ as our savior
and enter into a relationship with our Heavenly Father? Our life is about a relationship. Not one
based on emotion, but one founded in a decision; a decision from which the
greatest love and the greatest relationship can be discovered.

May God grant us the
strength, the courage, and the wisdom to stand firm in our decision to be
faithful to the greatest relationship, the greatest love, the purest emotion;
to the great “I AM”, Yahweh, Abba, Father.